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feel real

by Alecia Renece

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about

I've been struggling with depression and hopelessness for the past week and a half.

I said farewell to my Grandmommy and contracted COVID afterwards.

Though I've recovered, for the most part, the worst symptom is mental.

For some reason I didn't feel "real" for a while after getting sick.

It feels like there is a screen between me and the real world, I feel like I'm not really real... That somewhere I got sucked into a first person VR video game that I can't take off...

It's wild.

It triggered my depression again... And I hate being here. But I'm here.

To help me feel "normal again", I sing. I try to make things to ground myself, to not feel like I'm gonna float away... To remind myself that I am Alecia. I am here. I am me.

I'm really trying. I'm trying so hard. Mental health issues are rough and you can gaslight yourself into thinking that you should just be able to wake yourself up out of that.

I made this loop as a grounding exercise, as a prayer, as a reminder.

I am here. I may not recognize the world around me, but I'm here.

I'm here.

lyrics

Just tryna' feel normal again

I just wanna feel,
normal once again,
I just wanna feel normal again

I just wanna feel, real,
feel real

I don't recognize, what's before my eyes
I don't recognize, what is truth and lies

credits

released September 20, 2022
written, performed and mixed by Alecia Renece

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Alecia Renece Washington, D.C.

hi there! my name is Alecia and I am an artist whose mission is to tell the truth, create space for vulnerability and healing within my music, and spreading love to beautiful folks like you. One song at a time.

As long as there is breath in my body, there will be a song on my lips.

You are loved. You matter.

... more

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